The Story of the Newport's Unscheduled Demise
This is a long, but interesting
if not unbelieveable read.
All the contents of this story are true. You can ask several of my friends
who were there.
Vehicle Description:
1968 Chrysler Newport Custom
owner Rebuilt 440
Mancini Racing Transmission
3.23 Sure Grip from 1970 ChallengerMods:
Aluminum M1 intake
Carter AFB 750cfm 4-bbl carb
TNT camshaft
TNT air cleaner housing
1968 Fury seats
1968 New Yorker dashboard
1965 New Yorker window cranks
1968 New Yorker grille
255/60/15 and 275/60/15 tires on 15X7 Mopar Police Wheels
Police exhaust manifolds, 2.5" exhaust
New front fenders and door. ZERO RUST, NO BONDO on vehicle
Painted satin black with flames with OSH spraypaint while waiting for a real Lime-Light paint job.
The Damage Gallery - includes "The Drunk," "The Spin" and "The Trailer"
I get a call Sunday morning from my landlord telling me that she has bad news. I figure she's trying to kick me out again, for the third or 4th time for having too many cars and too much furniture. As she recounts the events of that morning, I could not find the strength to stand. I sit down on the porch of my parent's house, 70 miles away from home, while my landlord tried to string together coherent sentences. After hanging up the phone, with a seriously concerned look on my mom's face, she asks me what's happened because I appear nearly transparent white and shaking. Someone has run into my car.
My 1968 Chrysler Newport was parked out front of my place, where I'd normally park the Bonneville. However, just having installed a new Mancini Racing A727 transmission the weekend before, I was still putting in a tranny cooler so the car had open tranny fluid lines at the moment and was undriveable. Anyway, some drunk fool passed out at the wheel at 9:15am Sunday morning, November 17, 2002 and ran straight into the front end of my car at 40 MPH in a 1985 Nissan Sentra. This dislodged the parking gear and sent my car 100 feet down the road, on the curb on the other side. His car travelled another 30 feet and ended up facing up our driveway after knocking the trash cans far into the next yard.
The idiot driver had gone up to the Mobil station to buy some cigarettes and was on his way back home when he passed out. He ended up hitting his head on the windshield of his car, his lips broken open by the steering wheel, and of course he was NOT wearing a seatbelt so he ended up on the floor of his UNINSURED car, unconscious.
Luckily there were witnesses. They called 911 and the street was filled with ambulances, fire trucks and police cars. I could have cared less if he was ok or not. The crap that this guy put me through with his lies about when he'd get around to paying me and the fact that he wrecked my baby, left no compassion for his well-being in my body.
In the end, I ended up giving him until January 1, 2003 to pay up, or I'd go to my insurance agent. No pay by Jan 1, so I went to collect and total my car. It ended up working out better this way since now my insurance agent will sue the f*&$ing bastard for lots more than he would have paid me in the first place. Finally, justice has been served. I bought back the car for the paltry sum of $98 so I could save the drivetrain.
Unfortunately, although I got a nice sum of money, this is not the end of the tradgedy...
The Spin (semi-related, but amazing anyway)
On my way home that Sunday evening, while driving my Bonneville southbound 101 just after the Patterson entrance ramp, six guys in a tiny 80's Hyundai hatchback (yes, six... in a 5-seater) spun out behind me. I heard screeching and looked back to see the car SIDEWAYS in my rear-view mirror and then slam into the guardrail, spinning it another 360 degrees. The driver had cut over into the middle lane quickly to pass me, without looking and clipped some poor lady's Altima. Someone's trying to take out ALL of my cars!!! Luckily the Bonneville wasn't touched. I spoke with the police and went home, down Turnpike just 1/4 mile away.
The Trailer
I have now made plans to trailer my car up to my parent's house to replace the front end including the sub-frame. I have a parts car awaiting my payment in San Jose and I'm borrowing a friend's truck and trailer to get me there.
I got the car running again. The firemen had clipped the battery cables for fear of it catching fire but I've replaced the cables (Chrysler and Fire and me mix well for some reason... that's another story on another car). There's no water in the radiator since it was pushed into the fan, but it all still turns over and runs just fine for brief periods before it gets too hot. I drove it up onto the trailer, we sinch it down and off we go.
About a mile down the road, my passenger is telling me about her trailer experience when a boat that she was hauling fell off the ball hitch. She says she's now jinxed the trip, but I say "ahh I don't believe in that crap." I picked up a couple friends and some spare parts I had at their houses and off we go, on northbound 101.
The trailer is acting kind of badly. It sways every once in a while, but I bring it back to normal with no problems. it does this about 3 times until we get to Najoi (spelling?) grade just before Buellton. My passenger starts to tell her story to my friends sitting in the back seat of the truck. She gets about 1/2 way through it as I look in the rear-view mirror and say, "oh $#it."
As I reach the crest of the hill at about 50 MPH, the trailer starts to sway. The road surface is patched and uneven and a turn to the left but I hold her steady. Then the trailer gets worse as we start our decent. There's a light blue Toyota Camry in front of me, so I have to go around it as hitting the brakes on a curve with the trailer swaying doesn't seem like a good idea. This upsets the trailer even more and if I hadn't thought about hitting the brakes before, I sure was now... but at this point a jacknife is imminent so I keep it as straight as I can, hoping it will stop oscillating if I just... hold....it...
We speed up, heading straight down the hill for my fear of a jacknife and falling off the right edge down into the farmland. Faster... faster.. faster... there's not a whole lot I can do but fight and keep it straight. The whole truck is swaying back and forth but the nose is pointed straight. Then the road curves to the right at the bottom of the hill.... it's gone from bad, to worse, to f**ing horrible in a manner of seconds... somehow I manage to swing the rig to the left and keep it on the road, while the truck, trailer, and my Newport do a 180 degree spin WHILE STAYING ON THE ROAD, and are now facing back up the hill from whence we came.
We're stopped. We're alive. I breathe a sigh of relief while the dust is still passing over the truck and settling. I check on the trailer. Wait... it's empty. That's certainly not good. I look over to my left and see the cliff. I'm thinking to myself, "Oh no.. you're kidding."
Stepping out of the truck, I see my Newport sitting in the center of the freeway with broken glass all around it. But what the heck is that noise? IT'S TRYING TO START ITSELF!!! I run over to the car with my friend, Steve and see smoke coming out the hood. I'd tied the hood closed with a tie strap since it didn't latch after I had to pry it open from the drunken jerkbag accident. Getting the hood open, a ton of smoke pours out. A ground strap is frying. While Steve runs back to get some tools, I simply grab the wire coming off the battery to the starter relay with my right hand and give it a mighty tug. I pulled it off, and the car now sits quiet and smoldering.
What had happened is the Chrysler starter relay is on the front driver's side fender, and when the car fell off the trailer 1/2 way around the spin, it rolled over and crushed the fender and relay so it was shorting itself. Yes, that's right. The car tumbled side over side in a 4200 lb barrel roll at least once and landed on it's wheels in the middle of northbound 101.
Upon some quick investigation, skidmarks and missing road markers and broken trailer lights revealed that the back end of the trailer was actually OVER the edge of the cliff, and it just so happened that where we spun, was the ONLY space on the side of the road with a short turnout about the length of the arc the trailer made. If you travel down this road, take a look to your right near the end of the hill. You'll see where the trailer's wheels slid through the dirt. It's visible in the background of some images in the Gallery, like this one.
The dork in the Camry stopped at the side of the road, but then continued on once she saw all of us get out of the truck. I assume she called 911, but luckily we had a cell phone and did that as well. By the time CHP arrived, a nice couple in a BIG-ass Ford 4X4 truck with some quads in the back had a thick tow strap and the horsepower to pull the non-rolling Newport into the center median. Two tires on the passenger side had blown and the rims bent beyond repair. The front spindle was also severly damaged, and the steering linkage broken, so the car was not even pushable after I put new wheels/tires on it.
The car ended up being towed to Buellton where it sat for a few days before it was finally towed to my parent's house. the trailer suffered two bent rims and two flat tires, a torn and beat fender where the Newport had rolled over it, 4 snapped 3" wide tow straps, one broken board and one pulled out tow hook. The truck suffered no damage except for scrubbed tires and transmission fluid sprayed all over the bed.
We limped the truck and trailer home, I took everything out of the car that was useful, and had it towed away. I now have an extreme surplus of 1968 Chrysler C-body parts, so if you need anything, just ask. I probably have it.
As our friend, Matt said when referring to Steve and me, "You two are the only people I know that can be in that seroius of an accident and walk away unscathed." Of all the absolutely horrible things that could have happened that day, the only things lost were my car and my pride.
My 440 and 3.23 sure grip were from a 1968 New Yorker that also met an untimely demise, and await the third '68 C-body to be transplanted into. Hopefully third time's the charm.
I am indeed one of the luckiest SOB's around and very greatful to be such.
The Damage Gallery
Includes "The Drunk," "The Spin" and "The Trailer"
RIP "Babs" October 2001 - January 2003me after hearing my car pics had spread all over the internet- "I don't know if I should be proud or ashamed of starting a new 'legend' such as this...."
a Moparite- "Oh it was cool. I can't remember, but they had some "Post Crash" photos and there was some interesting commentary about how such a famously indestructible car got so incredibly f*ck#d up."
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